Ok, have you ever seen red or gotten blue because someone questions, challenges, or downright attacks some part of your character? Most humans have, so if you haven’t …..count yourself lucky or take some time to assess your self awareness.
Very recently, (maybe yesterday)I had a situation where my ethics were challenged. Or were they? Here’s the story without specifics to protect the innocent.
Someone I spend plenty of professional time with and trust approached me to say a question surfaced about an action I had taken. I was completely blindsided! My mind started racing and I felt sick. This person told me the context behind the concern, and asked me if I had thought about that. Now I’m angry because I thought- 1) Do you believe I did something wrong? 2) Do you believe I knew it was wrong and did it anyway? The conversation lasted about 3 minutes and felt like 3 hours. It ended with me saying I would takes steps to verify whether or not my action was improper. Within 2 minutes of the call I had reached out to the proper channels for guidance. I spent the next 6 hours going through multiple emotions and thoughts.
1) The original person who surfaced the concern did the absolute right thing with good intentions.
2) Why didn’t the person come to me?
3) Neither the original person or the one who talked to me asked any questions to understand details of the actual situation.
And finally…..why is this so upsetting to me when I know I didn’t intentionally do anything wrong? It’s because I was insulted and my pride and ego were bruised. Five years ago, I would have spiraled. Fortunately for all, the end result was that my action was not unethical, but as with most issues had some grey area.
I want to help save you those 5 years. Here are some questions to consider:
Do I want to be right or do I want to do the right thing? Thank you Michele Norris for that simple and amazing question!
Am I responding based mostly on emotion? Emotion is great when it’s in balance with facts and logic. The times in my life and career that I’ve to had backpeddle or do damage control have a common denominator…tooooo much emotion. I practice being more balanced everyday.